Happy Birthday Dearie!

Birthday shout out to M. Hope you had a great day at school and at the performance tonight. Hope your arm isn't too sore :P I would've liked it if I saw you more today; then I could've gave you birthday punches more effectively... *sigh* oh wells. Love ya <3

I was looking forward to ice skating today. I can finally skate normally and as good as the little girls I was envious of a few weeks ago ('cause they could skate better than me). I was proud to say that I had not fallen over whilst learning to skate. But today, after all the practise and I'm finally going at a good pace, I stacked it. I don't even know what happened. I was just about to skate normally and then all of a sudden, I slid backwards and fell to the very cold and hard ice. PAIN. My hands were hurting so bad; like they were burning. But to the left of my tailbone hurt more :( I haven't fallen so hard since.......can't remember the last time. The point is, it hurt. A LOT. It hurt so much that I sat on the ice for a while 'cause it hurt too much to get up. Yeh. It hurt. And to make the situation worse, this guy was there watching me. He saw me trying not to fall. He heard me scream. He saw me fall. He saw me trying to get up. And yet he did nothing to help :( MEANIE! So there I was, embarassed and in pain. I'm sure there's no need to explain why. Then I slowly made my way to J, laughing off the pain and repeating "it really hurts, it really really hurts.." for a while.

Lonely has been stuck in my head for the whole of the long weekend and today. Wonder how much longer it can stay. Was on the train home alone today because M had the performance. So I was sitting in the corner with my earphones in and mouthing the words to the song. I have no idea when I began singing to myself, but I realised that people kept looking at me and was like, shit, do I have something on my face?. Yeh, so there I was listening to the song and actually feeling lonely :( Sitting there reminiscing. Been doing that a lot lately. Then I started thinking about the lyrics and how nice/sad they are. Just sat there in the fairly deserted carraige for a while, looking out the window in front of me until I switched trains at lidcombe. The train I was on was ten minute early so I had to wait longer than usual for the connecting train. Stood on the platform leaning against the pole, looking very lonely. Got onto the train and grabbed a one-seater upstairs. Before the train stopped at Guildford, I had small exchange with someone I hadn't talked to in a while. It was rather awkward.

I had a very short piano lesson today because I didn't practise piano very much this week and I think my teacher was pissed. I played a bit and then tried playing the next parts in the pieces. Played one song with my teacher and then went home. All in less than half an hour. I was hoping to get my theory exam back today but that didn't happen. It's not like I'm expecting to get 100% in it, just that I wanted something to talk about in the lesson to make the lesson seem longer.

Well, time to attempt to do the work I wrote in my diary.




#35 When I'm alone, I like to be invisible. On the train, usually standing or sitting in my special corner, staring out the window and spacing out. Just out of anyone's way and where they're out of my personal space is nice. When walking, apart from crowds with lots of space around me.